Survivor to Thriver / Survivor to Thriver

Survivor to Thriver

988895_10206050285874825_6481002276466082674_n-2-2Less than 5 weeks ago I had 54.6 pound tumor surgically removed from my body. For those of you who may not get the enormity of what that really means consider this: my tumor was the same weight as 7, YES seven newborn babies or the size of one average healthy 7 year old child. Wowza!

I’m actually quite lucky to be alive and cancer free, turns out it was a “borderline contained cancer” which is the best case scenario because they got it all and there is only a 5% chance of recurrence. I’ve never been through a medical trauma personally… I’ve only seen what my Aunts and Mother went through…. And let me tell you it’s real different when it is you!

Before the shit hit the fan I was writing a book proposal titled “Angel with a Edge” that I submitted to a publisher in the end of 2014. One of the chapters was titled “It’s not a Tumor” which was all about my Mother’s brain tumor and how my family got through this difficult time with humor. I was also premiering my “Angel with an Edge” movement and lapel pin in my store. Little did I know I had a life threatening tumor growing inside of me and I had no idea I was going to desperately need my own army of angels to get me through this. I certainly did not know just how many were going to show up for me. Life is ironic; truly ironic, you just can’t make this stuff up!

There are some incredible angels out there who rallied for me, they took care of me, they were strong for me and they amazed me. If you are reading this you might be one of them, if you prayed for me you are definitely one of them and this might be my only chance to thank you. Thank you for praying for me! I thought I lost my momentum in my Angel with an Edge movement because I was healing and so very tired and in pain. I felt that I hit a wall and was lost somehow but I realize now I needed to surrender and let go to see the miraculous people who showed up for me. My army of angels literally came to me, they showed up for me and until now I had no idea how loved I am.

I know it sounds like a cliché’, but I am a completely different person now. I’m still a “truth-sayer” but now I have a filter. Oh I still call bullshit when I see it, what kind of angel with an edge would I be without my edge? However now I try to express myself coming from a place of compassion and less judgment and since my surgery I’ve realized I have absolutely no idea what anyone else is dealing with or going through and I hope I stay that way. My heart is so full of gratitude sometimes I think it isn’t possible to fit anything else in it, of course that is ridiculous but I realize now that my heart is just more selective of what it will embrace… and there is always room for more love! I see beauty in the smallest of things, I really see the world with new eyes that are brighter, lighter and filled with gratitude. I am grateful to be given the opportunity to live a ripe old age, something neither of my parents were able to do, god willing. I will remind myself I am not here to be perfect, as the 10” incision I have from above my belly button down my stomach catches my eye in the mirror and to be grateful I am alive and thriving.

I had a preconceived concept in my head of how my Angel with an edge project was going to go I even trademarked the name and the image. But the real story of what is unfolding verses my vision of what I thought would happen is small potatoes compared to what God (Interject universe, Buddha, Krishna, whatever works for you) created for me. Yes I embarked on my angels here on earth project and I started manifesting the concept, but my army of angels came to me and showed up before me at one of the darkest times of my life. Now I know exactly what must be done. I am a survivor and now I am going to thrive! I am going to put my entire foot in the water at the river’s edge, not just one toe. I’m going to say what I mean and mean what I say with as much kindness as I can muster up. I’m going to continue my revolution that we are all roughly 20% bad and 80% good, and that is my message don’t wait for things to all fall together sometimes they all fall apart and then fall together and sometimes they all fall apart and never come together.

Being in a life threatening situation taught me today is the only day you have this moment it all we have. People told me I was brave but really I was just trying to live through each moment and be present that is what worked for me. Life is fragile I’ve never felt so vulnerable and so invincible at the same time. I started something amazing it’s called “Angel with an Edge” and then I thought it got squashed until I realized I was thrown into an unexpected wild journey and this is exactly where I should be! I hope you join me.

Being human I’ve discovered over these past weeks that I’m not going to make it alone. As humans not only do we crave companionship we literally can’t survive without each other and we certainly cannot thrive without sharing our stories, tears and laughter I hope you’ll join me on my journey to thriving, this is just the beginning!

On March 27th and 28th from noon to five an army of angels will come together to celebrate my extraordinary recovery and my Angel With an Edge project. It would mean so much to me if you could attend, have a glass of bubbly and receive special gift from me! If you missed our big premier party in December you won’t want to miss this one, and if you did attend I bet you won’t believe how amazing I look now, I’ve lost over 80 pounds and I feel fantastic!

I can’t wait to see you then!

Elizabeth

Written by angelwanedge


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